i have a confession. i think i am not a very good crafter. i am a good knitter, but i need to follow the pattern. i am not good at improvising, or making stuff up as i go. oh, thats not quite true. im good at adapting things to fit (necessity being the mother of invention) and im good at socks with no pattern (you’d want to hope so after all this time). but otherwise, i lack imagination, visually speaking. and i really have a serious hand-eye co-0rdination problem (ask anyone who’s been a passenger in a car im driving).
other craft type things, beyond knitting, forget it. i couldnt even sew a straight line with a sewing machine in year 9 ‘textile and design’ class. so when it came to making a christmas decoration for my old sydney stitch n bitch group xmas high tea gathering, i struggled. firstly i left it too late. im blaming work for that. secondly, i aimed too high to start off with. i went for a large intricate lace snowflake using silk thread. i couldnt get the cast on right, but tried valiantly for two days before throwing it across the room in disgust. by then it was friday morning and i was out of options. i had a sudden brainwave to have a bit of fun, and ran off to my LYS where i picked up a kit for a little knitted something. it involved ‘novelty yarn’ so it was always meant to be kind of funny, but not quite as funny as it turned out. let me tell you the whole story!
i started it friday night, but it was too awkward to knit on the train up to sydney. i knitted socks instead
and admired the various views – stanwell park just north of home
sydney harbour on a sunny day as i headed to roseredville.
then i knitted like a demon all afternoon saturday in between playing cars with connor
the thing slowly started to take shape.
it wasnt a lot of fun to work with, this novelty yarn. awkward and annoying. and it made jane sneeze. by midnight the thing had been sewn up, turned inside out and stuffed.
it was grotesque. it had a bald spot on the top. jane crocheted a little star for the top and it was lovely but didnt help diguise the unmitigated ugliness. i’d dropped stitches. it didnt sit up straight. my seaming was shit. and the yarn. god it was ugly*. i thought about not going but sunday came and off i went into the city anyway and met up with kris first to go see the latest installment of the ‘love story of bella and edward, who did not sparkle but broke a bed’. it was good. traumatising and hilarious but good. then we had chilli dogs and parmesan and truffle fries for lunch. sooo good!
then it was a mad dash through the rain down to The Rocks where the knitters had gathered for a high tea.
sandwiches, strawberries and cream, scones, cupcakes. and knitted tea cosies. and then came time for the gift swap. because shes good like that and doesnt take herself too seriously, kris made me tell her which one was my monstrosity and she grabbed it when it was her turn.
i was so embarrased by it but she thought it was hilarious. as did everyone else. its better that its gone to someone who will put silly boggle eyes on it and treat it with the irony it deserves! somehow (cough) i managed to end up with kris’ little handmade felt trees.
they are sitting proudly on my mantle piece next to buddha. they are the only christmasy type thing in the house. maybe i need to make myself an ironic yarn barf tree.
although i think i should probably just stick to socks.
* i should add that all issues with this pattern are of my own making and not in the design or pattern, which were really quite good!