things have been a bit slow around here, and i dont have anything particularly startling to show or tell. its a bit like the seasons too, an in between time, waiting for something to happen. winter is approaching in a slow creep here on the coast, little snippets here and there. the lawn has stopped growing quite as fast. the winter doona came out last night and it was still a bit warm. the heater is on at night but can still get away with a tshirt by day. just. and the magnolia is in transition as well:
its clinging on to its last remaining leaves while buds are appearing, but it will be a while before the flowers emerge. the knitting is at an in-between stage as well. the polwarth/silk featherweight is moving along:
i nearly have enough body length before i start the rib at the bottom and i am still on the first hank. its so lovely and soft, i am anxious to start wearing this soon so am finding it hard to work on anything else. but i really need to get both of these socks finished:
that is the second of the stripey one and if i just spent a day on it i could probably knock it over and send them off to brisvegas, but im finding with socks, i tend to knit pretty tight and pinching the tiny needles is sending ribbons of pain down my arm, so i have eased off a bit. the brown ones are still only at sock one and its making a lovely soft warm sock for someone who really needs a new pair, but good lord, the pattern is soooo boring! its just a 10 row repeat of alternating purls to make the diamonds but it still needs to be checked each row to make sure im doing the right combination and im bored bored bored. but its crazy to just chuck aside a perfectly good pair of socks because youre bored, isnt it? i should just bite the bullet and get them done. then i would be free to start something from the personal sock club!
the treading water feeling though is singularly connected to The Arm. its three weeks now since the accident, and i grow weary and impatient. i dont like to whinge, and i dont like people who whinge about illness or injury. when i was a kid i wasnt really allowed to be sick or injured, nothing serious ever happened to me anyway, and if it had been serious mum would have made out like it wasnt. so i have not been the best patient. at times the pain was overwhelming and i just cried from the endlessness of it. but mostly its the frustration of lost mobility, of not being able to just reach out and grab something, to have to think about what im doing, compensate for everything. i cant turn a door handle, or open a jar, or really yet do my hair the way i want. i cant lean over to clean the bath, i cant rumble with the dogs. so all of this means asking for help, and i am just not good at it. i want to be helped, i want someone to care for me, and then i get the shits when they do. so it hasnt always been a happy household the last few weeks.
but at the same time, im doing pretty good. firstly, its just an arm. its not that serious, it will get better, and i am lucky thats all it was. i went back to work this week, just a couple of days, and took a pillow to lean on my desk. i had another xray because the wrist was so sore but there is no fracture there, just a lot of bruising and swelling, and that is almost all gone now. the pain has retreated just to around the elbow joint itself, and is a dull ache, reminding me not to stretch or reach or grab. i am still tired, i dont quite understand why an elbow injury is so exhausting, but i am feeling mentally a lot better. i went to visit rosered and connor yesterday, and that helped, and today i am planning some slow cooking in the form of a ‘daube of beef’ in the oven and my first ever sticky date pudding.
and maybe i should be glad for an enforced slow down. treading water is a good way to just stop sometimes, figure out what’s really important, get ready for the next big rush, and take time to smell the magnolias. well, not literally, but you know what i mean!